Sometimes I don't!
At times I'm believing when in doubt, while at others I'm doubting when in belief.
Does that make me a believer or a non-believer?!
When one believes, the conflict ends - that's the general notion. Believing is comfort, believing is peace - usually!
And while peace or comfort is the seemingly obvious end I struggle to achieve; I realize that the doubt was the means!! Unless I doubted, I wouldn't have come to believe!
Its like reaching perfection. I imagine perfection like still calm waters; I may momentarily look at in awe and wonder against a picturesque scenic backdrop, but then in a while I look away!
Had that perfection not been there, had the water not been still....had there been ripples and waves that danced a mad dance while I was looking at the scenery, making patterns as it flirted with each of my glances.... holding it spell-bound.... making it difficult for me to look away.........!
Maybe, Just maybe I'd have held each glance a little longer!!
I wonder, maybe.
So it is with this life as well, I guess.......
Its not the belief that's making me stay here; its the doubt!
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